Wednesday, January 28, 2009

After complaining yesterday....

I must be doing something right....because I get on the scale today and now I am down...37 pounds. Yippy Kai A!....... I wonder if it's walking on there with those weights in my hands...maybe so.

Last night I actually fried...yes, fried chicken for my family...GROSS! GROSS! I baked mine but they felt like they were having the biggest treat to get something fried! Did I mention frying is gross?

I was watching Biggest Loser last night....and I saw something on there I didn't agree with nutritionally. I always giggle at their little "info-mercials" for yo-plait, or extra gum, but last night it was "Fiber One" cereal which I love. I am a fan definitely. So Bob is going on about how 1/2 a cup is 60 calories and with milk is 100. That's not a smart breakfast especially for those folks....and no I am not a nutrition expert. How can they eat 100 calories and then go workout like they do and survive? It's not wonder they lose the amount of weight they do. They are starving. I just hate for people who are working hard and think that everything they see on that show is gospel to think that eating 100 calories, and with that much fiber is enough for a meal...there is some protein in milk....but not enough to get you by that long. Okay...just soap boxin! What did I have for breakfast? I had Quaker High Fiber Oatmeal Maple Brown Sugar, 1 Cup of Skim Milk and 1/3 cup cooked egg whites. When Justin wakes up it's off to the gym I go. Busy day today.

Back to Biggest Loser...I had tears...I always have tears when I watch that show. When Dan finally ran that 5 minutes on the tread mill... and when he talked about how he never believed he could be thin because he had never been that way. Well, I understood that. I have always been bigger than other people. I am big boned. I don't mean that in an excuse kind of way, I mean I am literally big boned. I have size 10.5 feet and skin stretched over bone I am no smaller than a size 10-12. Of course I don't know if I have ever been that size. I think when I am at my goal I will have not been there since I was in 7th grade. Yep, you read that right. I am just not small and never will be. That's why I don't aspire to be some little bitty thing...I aspire to be no longer medically overweight but more than that....I want to be HEALTHY and capable of doing anything I want to do and have no limits physically.

Kent and I have a big anniversary in Feb. of 2010 and I told him I want to go to the Bahamas or somewhere like that...somewhere with clear blue water. I'd like to go there and participate and all kinds of things that I never would before because I was FAT. I'd never climb on a jet ski, or para-sail, or snorkel or anything like that because I was FAT....but I am just not going to allow myself to be held back any longer. I want to live and enjoy all kinds of experiences that I have never had before.

I know some people are turned off by the word "FAT" but guess what? I am a girl who says..."It is what it is". FAT IS FAT! I am way to priss around it. I am working on it...changing....but it is what I won't be delicate about using the sorry if it makes anyone reading this wince.....remember I said a while back....I can be salty! Fat! Fat! Fat! There, I said it. (three times in fact!)

Our insurance covers weight loss surgery now and a lot of people are opting for that. I understand that a lot of thought and prayer and so many things go in to that decision. I wrestled with that decision. My weight alone would qualify me for it. My reasons for not choosing that route are because I have things that occur in my head constantly. I eat for emotional reasons, I am a stress eater, boredom eater....LOTS of bad habits...years in the making. Having surgery would not fix that for me. It might fix a short term issue but not a long term and the long term is what I am working on....the inner changes. I have come to believe that if I have to fight tooth and nail for this....literally work my ass off....fight all those demons on the way down....then I will have accomplished something that WLS can't accomplish for me. This is HARD....HARD....HARD. I have to push myself to do things I don't like doing, don't want to do...don't feel like doing but I do...because it is saving my life and because the more I do it....the more I see I CAN DO IT! The more I see something in me that reveals my potential and capabilities. Again, for me...WLS....could not give me that. I don't discredit people who take that option at all because we all have our reasons and they have a hard fight and road. I hopefully will have only one surgery in my future and that will be voluntary when I have all my weight off.....I am going for that washboard tummy! Yep....4 children have wrecked my abdominal wall and no amount of exercise will repair that. It's actually painful so someday I will do that. Maybe they can take out my worn out uterus while they are in there.

Alright, well my little guy is up, gotta feed the boy wonder breakfast and then I must get to the telephone booth and change in to my workout costume....hahahahah. Just kidding!

If you have made it this far, you're good! Thanks for sticking with me! Love to all!

Have a great day!


Teri said...

I was watching TBL last night too and when then showed that cereal, I thought they needed something more with it. But my next thought was "hey, if eating that much fiber helps to poop off the pounds maybe I should try it!".

Melissa said...

I was thinking the same thing about the cereal, that they would pass out on the treadmill from low blood sugar! LOL

You are doing so good and you were so brave to fry that chicken!