Saturday, June 27, 2009

One Long Walk

That is what I took this morning. I walked 8.2 miles this morning and it was just WOW....hard but awesome all at the same time. I knew I could do it...I never doubted for one second that I'd be able to make it...but toward the end I was running out of steam. I said a prayer before I left...just asking for strength and protection and the courage to "DO IT"...and I did. I am grateful for that. It was so nice to see the sun rise over the lake, watch the turtles bank and then there were the not so lovely close encounters with spider webs. I walked right in to a few of those. Yuck! It was a learning experience. I am trying to build up my endurance and will also have to work on my speed as I push on toward my January goal of the half marathon.

As I was walking I was thinking...I had plenty of time for that. I was remembering how trapped I once felt. I have spent a big part of my life being trapped by my body and then just being trapped in general by the "you shouldn'ts". It has really sucked and I am so over that. I feel free now and I am living my life and will not be trapped anymore. I will do what I want and enjoy my life and my future and choose for myself what I should and shouldn't do. I will not allow anyone to guilt me. I am a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making the right decisions for myself. I am like a butterfly....I have finally busted free of that cocoon. My only regret is that I waited so long but then again...I would not be the very person I am at this moment had I not it all works out. Life is good.

Friday, June 26, 2009

"So why do you call yourself the Selfish Lady?"

I have been asked that a number of times. I am pretty sure I have explained that somewhere in the 100 plus posts of this blog but I know things get lost sometimes. When I began this journey I realized that the ONLY way I was going to be able to overcome the obstacles that stood in my way was to make myself my total focus. I was going to have to get completely selfish and put me first. The other reason I call myself the "Selfish Lady" on this blog is just because this blog is mostly about ups, journey. I would never want anyone to start reading it without knowing up front that this lady was going to go on and on about herself! It's my page...I get the liberty to do what I want....because on here....I am SELFISH! (giggle!) In real life...I believe I am far from that.

So there is the'll get lost again....and I'll explain it all over again in time....until then...

Selfish Lady sends....

Monday, June 22, 2009

One Hundred...Up...Up...And AWAY..........

Yay! I meant to post last week but we left for a fun trip to Port Aransas for a family crab boil.

I did it....I am there....Deep breath..... and now I move forward and finish my race. Just a few more to go and then I continue to enjoy my life, my health my freedom from a cloak of fat, poor health, and low self image. I feel free!

Thank goodness I finally look in the mirror and see myself for what I really look like. In the past...I still saw the fat matter what I lost. Now I finally see...ME! That girl I see makes me smile ALOT! It's okay to smile back at her. :)

Reach inside yourself, dig down and LOVE YOURSELVES! Love yourself enough to CHANGE.

Selfish lady sends....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Less than a pound to go...

So less than a pound away and I will make my goal of 100 pounds lost forever. I should be there by Thursday for sure! I can't imagine why I wouldn't be. I will definitely update. You will all probably hear me shout from my rooftop in Texas. After this goal I have decided that I will ask myself for 31 more and then I work on maintenance. The funny thing is...nothing is really going to be any different. That will put me at a body weight of 155. I think that is a healthy weight for someone of my height and body frame size. I should be about a size 10 and perhaps 8's in somethings...especially after a nip and a and there. It's hard because I have in some ways a much leaner, healthier body but when with such a huge loss, I have in other ways...what appears to be an older one...and the only possible way to correct that is through surgery. There is absolutely no exercise and healthy diet that will remedy what excessive stretching of the skin has done. It's a sad, cold and hard truth of being so overweight. I am not being negative.....just aware of a reality. It frustrates me at times...but I get over it quickly and stand amazed at what I have accomplished. I'll take the sagging skin over the poor health and fat that I had anyday. :)

Monday, June 8, 2009

The Scale...IT MOVES!

It's finally been inching away. I know some of you pop in to find out how I am doing so I thought I would give a little update. That scale...aka "sucker" was stuck after my short round of thyroid meds. (like only a weeks worth) It shot up, and then I stopped taking them and then had to work super hard to make those stupid 3.5 pounds come off and then the scale stood still...but moves again in a downward direction.

Drum roll.....I am down 96.8 pounds down now! My goal right now is be down 100 by the 18th which is another 10 days away. So we will see. (Today is Monday, and that is a Thursday) the rate I's doable...but we'll just wait and see. I am just thrilled that that "sucker" is finally moving! :) I am working hard as always so it ought to be! I am in the 180's now ....amazed....completely amazed. I am so freaking proud of myself!

On a completely other note. Summer is here, the kids are out of school. I have kids going to camp. We are going to visit family in Port Aransas which is going to be so much fun! Lots of pool time in the horizon and my garden is providing me with lots of fresh goodness! I think I could live on fresh tomatoes alone. I discovered the glory of grilled sweet onions...Wow! I am in paradise! It's going to be a great summer!

Have a great one!

Selfish Lady Sends.....

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Walking toward January

I was out walking today. I decided that it was cool enough this morning to walk...well it started out that way. I was burning up by the time I was done. :) My thoughts turned toward January and the excitement I feel about lining up with all these athletes on a starting line and beginning a marathon. This marathon that I will complete with my husband is a first for the both of us but is so symbolic for me. It represents a "hurdle", a "barrier", finally breaking through or completing a huge journey. Perhaps it is the start of becoming something more. Maybe crossing through that finish line will represent cutting the ribbon with the "golden scissors" and means that something greater is about to begin. I am just so excited about it because I know I can do it. I know it will be very hard...the hardest thing physically I have had to do yet...and it's going to take more effort to prepare for it. I am up for it. I am ready.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I figured it out...

And I stopped taking the thyroid meds...on my own. I am sure my Dr. will have a fit but I gained that weight immediately upon taking it and began a bloated stomach out of nowhere. I started doing my research online and found that this is something that a certain number of people have experienced with that medication. I absolutely REFUSE to take something that will make me gain weight. NO HOW, NO WAY! I will do what I can to deal with this naturally but I am not taking the Synthroid....NOT HAPPENING. Wouldn't you know I stop taking it and they weight comes right back off and that tells me something.

Friday I went to the lab and had a crazy amount of blood work done including a glucose tolerance test. They are testing me for you name's being tested. This coming Friday I will get the other thyroid ultrasound, carotid doppler and chest x-ray.

I think last week I exercised 4 days instead of my usual 5 so it felt like a "slow week" so I am determined to bust my "arse" this week. I have a personal goal to break the 100 pound mark in the next 3 weeks. I should be able to do it without a problem as long as doc doesn't try to throw me on anymore goofy meds...LOL.

We went shopping this weekend armed with a list and a whole pile of coupons. We saved $22 I think in coupons but it's sort of tiring to slowing go through the coupons while your going down the isles. I need to organize them. We went across town to one store that we thought would have bargains but it didn't. We won't do that was an adventure...It felt more like shopping at a flea market...ha!ha! Hey, I could have come home with a "live" catfish though and that would have been totally cool! ;)

I am off to the gym....looking forward to dancing like a wild woman in my "Zumba" class today and then it's leg weights and core training. Just 3 days of school left for my kids and it'll be a balancing act between gym, housework and lots of days at the pool.

Have a great one!

Selfish Lady Sends........