Tuesday, October 28, 2014
The part that stunned me is that I wondered if I might be able to get to 225 by Nov. 1. I thought it might be hard but possible. I keep having to readjust my goals because I keep losing pretty fast which is okay in one way but worries a little bit in another. So yesterday I got on the scale and was shocked as it was only the 27th, and I weighed in at 224.8. I realize that I can go up and down ounces on a daily basis but there's my Nov. 1 goal met. That puts me at -46.8 Wow. I have all these things swirling around in my head. How long is it going to take me to get where I am going and how far am I going to let myself go and then how do I balance myself when I get to my goal? I am not a little girl. I have huge hands, big feet, literally skin stretched over bones I am a nice size 12, and 10 at the smallest. I am not tiny and don't believe my body was ever intended to be such. I also need to start working on more than just walking because while it is helping me with energy and stamina and losing weight, it is doing nothing for shaping my body in to anything great. I just have a history with gyms. It's a start/stop relationship. Hey, that is kind of like me and diets. Ha!Ha! I don't want that. I have heard a lot about this "Crossfit" but don't know if that would really be my thing or not. I just don't want to invest in something only to stop it plus I have so little time. That is what I love, love, love, LOVE about walking. I can fit it around MY schedule and it helps me in more ways that just physically. It has been the biggest help to have that time to "walk away" some times and pray and just self talk and clear my brain of what is eating away at me. This is one of the reasons why I love walking alone. It's my own "private Idaho" in my head and no-one is invited to crazy town. Ha!Ha! No one would like to go near that place. :)
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I am not shy about sharing the fact that I suffer from depression and have my entire life. I was diagnosed as a young Adult. It is something that I wrestle with at some periods in my life more than others. In other words it can be so much more palpable at times and it feels like I am drowning. I feel guilty because there are people who have problems so much bigger than mine yet I dredge mine up when I am struggling because they feed this monster. It is as if I need to give myself a reason to cry and feel withdrawn. The truth is that those feelings come even when things can be great. Unfortunately right now I am overloaded and don't see a way to clear out some of the extra stress so I just have to plow through. I can and I will. I just feel like a soda bottle that has been shaken up and is about to blow. I can control only what I can control. I can keep eating well and exercise and pray and ride out the storm for however long this one lasts.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
I didn't realize when I asked my husband to take my picture today that it is exactly one month ago from the last one he took. So I am not sure of the exact weight difference but one of me in red is today, down 38 pounds now. Perhaps the 8th of the month should now be the day I snap a pic to see if there is a difference. Oh how I wish my boobs didn't look like they were smashed around my waist. That's a sports bra for ya!