Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A Little Stunned....

I have had a cold and not felt well for other reasons. Sunday I just felt like I needed to walk. It had really been stormy on Saturday, and the few days leading up to that had been nasty and rainy. That is just how it is here. Sunday had a different feel to it though. It was kind of like walking out of the house after a hurricane. It wasn't that bad but it was quiet outside, the sun was up, it was really breezy and the the streets were a mess. There was was pine needles, and tree limbs and just stuff everywhere. For some weird, unexplainable reason it gave me energy to explore and so I set out and walked. I told my husband I was going on a long walk and if I need him to listen for his phone because I might call. I guess I knew it would be a long one. It was awesome. It felt so good to have energy and momentum and I just kept going and I walked all the way down to a beach area where I could see the city. I got to one point and I wondered if I needed to call or if could make back and I decided I could do it and I did. He texted me and was worried but I told him I was fine and would be home in a bit. So it ended a nice 5 miles and it was wonderful and I got a bit tearful when I realized I am finally hitting that point where I can do this. Even clunking up the hills, huffing or puffing...I can still do this and it is not killing me.

The part that stunned me is that I wondered if I might be able to get to 225 by Nov. 1. I thought it might be hard but possible. I keep having to readjust my goals because I keep losing pretty fast which is okay in one way but worries a little bit in another. So yesterday I got on the scale and was shocked as it was only the 27th, and I weighed in at 224.8. I realize that I can go up and down ounces on a daily basis but there's my Nov. 1 goal met. That puts me at -46.8 Wow. I have all these things swirling around in my head. How long is it going to take me to get where I am going and how far am I going to let myself go and then how do I balance myself when I get to my goal? I am not a little girl. I have huge hands, big feet, literally skin stretched over bones I am a nice size 12, and 10 at the smallest. I am not tiny and don't believe my body was ever intended to be such. I also need to start working on more than just walking because while it is helping me with energy and stamina and losing weight, it is doing nothing for shaping my body in to anything great. I just have a history with gyms. It's a start/stop relationship. Hey, that is kind of like me and diets. Ha!Ha! I don't want that. I have heard a lot about this "Crossfit" but don't know if that would really be my thing or not. I just don't want to invest in something only to stop it plus I have so little time. That is what I love, love, love, LOVE about walking. I can fit it around MY schedule and it helps me in more ways that just physically. It has been the biggest help to have that time to "walk away" some times and pray and just self talk and clear my brain of what is eating away at me. This is one of the reasons why I love walking alone. It's my own "private Idaho" in my head and no-one is invited to crazy town. Ha!Ha! No one would like to go near that place. :)

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