Angels, ribbons and crayons...

I can't believe it's Christmas time already. Justin had me dragging out all the decorations before Thanksgiving. He loves Christmas. I can't blame him. As a child it was one of my absolute favorite holidays as well. I loved the lights, the decorations and one of my absolute favorites was making sugar cookies and having my cousins over to decorate them. We made a huge mess on the kitchen table with colored frosting and sprinkles every where. It was a blast.

I took out the ornaments and put all the very special glass ornaments at the top of the tree before Justin had a chance to get a hold of them. Some of these ornaments go back to 1956 and my parents first christmas together. I feel lucky to have them. I don't want anything to happen to them. Other ornaments are just as special as they go back to when Kelley, Katie, Logan and yes, even Justin were little. Justin was fascinated with the odd pieces of construction paper with no more than a piece of ribbon an odd face drawn on it, or a few beads on a pipe cleaner with a name scribbled. I explained to him that these were very old and done by his brother or sisters and were so important to me and I had kept them. I keep everything. He quickly ran in the other room, drew an angel on a piece of paper, cut a circle around it, wrote his name on it and then found a ribbon to attach it to the tree. He wanted to make sure he made his contribution this year.

When I found myself alone I sat at the foot of the tree and began the process of putting up the rest of the ornaments and taking note of each and every one. I honestly sobbed for hours I think because the little boy Logan who scribbled the angel on the faded construction paper, is now a young man. The Katie who's face fills popsicle stick ornaments, or home-made felt wreaths is beautiful young woman. The little girl who's paper plate angel still finds a place at the highest part of my tree is an adult and has in many ways moved on in her heart. She is no longer that little girl that has all the angels peppering my tree.

These thoughts I had sitting there as a sea of paper, pipe cleaner and glitter ornaments surrounded me made me sad but also made me grateful for all my children. I am grateful for each of their smiles as they pulled out their treasures and raised them high in the air with pride for me to see before hanging them on the tree so many years ago. I am grateful for thumbprint tree ornaments, and tiny felt stockings with letters missing from their names that are still hung from teachers. They still mean something to them because I cared enough to keep them and I care enough to still hang them.

I am grateful for all the moments we have shared under our Christmas tree. Sometimes we have lost track of each other for the shredded paper everywhere, and sometimes we have been drowned out by the sounds of bubble wrap being stomped on in the corner of the room. We have the most amazing times, the silliest times and the simplest of times because we are together. THAT is what for us makes Christmas the greatest. I will take all those little special things my children have given me throughout the years and all the memories I have and I will consider it a perfect holiday.

I am sure I will post again...but for the moment, this is what was on my mind.

Before Thanksgiving is over...

I have 6 minutes in the day left...and I couldn't let it go without giving thanks for all I have.

I am thankful for my many blessings. My Heavenly Father has blessed me abundantly with a beautiful family, a home, a free country to live in, safety and many friends who support me and share my joys and my pains.

I am grateful for each of my children and their very unique personalities and the things that make them wonderful. I am also grateful for those things that have been hard that have brought us closer together.

I have profound gratitude for the man I love. He is my rock and I could never imagine my life without him. He is my very best friend, my soul mate, the one who I drive crazy and vice versa. We dream together, plan together, play together, love together. He has blessed my life and our children's lives a thousand fold.

I am grateful to just be me. For the good and the bad and all the in betweens...I am grateful the Lord made me who I am. I will change what I can, and embrace what I can't.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Story Of The Oak Tree...Well, my story any way....

My Katie and I were driving today and she told me that she was doing a special project for school. This project would include taking some pictures of me doing things that I love. She also said that for another project she was going to ask me some very personal, "thought provoking questions". We kind of laughed together when she reminded me that it was hard to believe that almost 30 years ago, I was where she is now. She said, that is like one of the questions I might ask you about. "What did you dream about when you were 16?" "What did you see yourself as?"

Somehow...as we turned in to the grocery store parking lot that brought us to the subject that a picture of me shopping should make a great picture of me. Since I am there all the time anyway and I love shopping. Then we began to talk about the dreams that her Dad and I have for our "someday". I told her that I dream of oak trees, and wrap around porches. I dream of fire pits and grand children screaming through the yard. I dream of herb gardens and wild flowers. I dream of the shadows that race across the stones of the Hill country. I dream of always being with my sweetheart with his pockets filled with acorns.

I have always loved Oak Trees. They have been a love of mine since I was a little girl. I guess I am drawn to them because they seem to reach deep down into to the earth as if they have always been there. It's as if the roots go so far down that they could come out on the other side of the world. They seem as if they existed forever. It's as if they have always "been". They represent strength to me. The whirey, bended branches that twist in so many different directions over years of weather and time don't weaken but make the oak stronger. To me, the oak tree represents family.

I had no idea when I met my husband that I'd find a man who'd always reach for acorns. As a little boy he did this, planted them in the ground in Mississippi and blessed his Mama with unsuspecting oak trees where she might not have wanted them. I have washed clothes and found acorns in the dryer. When we walk, he has always found the places with the acorns on the ground and of course they are tucked away in his pocket, or crushed up in a napkin to be planted on our land...someday. If we are blessed to live long lives, and he gets to plant the many acorns I have ever watched him pick up, we will be surrounded by a canopy of Oak Trees.

He has taught Justin to love acorns now, and I see his little pockets bulging as he fills them with his treasures he finds at the park or on walks. He is excited to go to Grandma's in Mississippi once again and plant some more in hopes that some unexpected trees will pop up much to his Grandmother's surprise and he can have all the credit.

Someday, I hope Kent and I can be laid down under an Oak Tree so the roots can wrap themselves around us and make us part of the earth. I told Katie if he was to ever to go before me. I am going to fill his casket with acorns. (smile) He'd miss them if he didn't have them. Besides...a tree might just pop up, and knowing him, it wouldn't surprise me. Perhaps he'll remember to tuck one in my pocket as well.

The end of the week, and Turkey Day on the Horizon...

I survived the week. I don't think my kitchen did. I could take a picture of it but it might not have the same affect without the horrific scream in the background and the flash of the black and white camera shot of the woman holding her face in terror! Yeah, it's that bad. I have to finish this blog post, take a shower and as we say here in the south "get after it!" No, wait...I do have to make some pumpkin bread today! Jeepers! I thought the oven was going to get a break! That's okay! Maybe it will tomorrow.

So my confessions of the week...one night I ate pizza because after a day of baking ALL day...I just couldn't bring myself to COOK! I also ate crackers...and I put BUTTER on them. Yep, I did! Buttered crackers. Remember those...so good! I won't lie. They were that good and yeah, well, I enjoyed every buttery saltine and I haven't for one moment thought it was the end of the world. How cool is that? That is WHAT it is finally about. Living and doing and being and rolling along. We do what is right and best for us, best for our bodies, and we do as much as we can that is right and when we have those moments that we have something that is not good, it's a big ol' "so what"! It's when it's a constant, never ending, swimming in a pool of chocolate pudding and drinking it with a styrofoam "floaty" size straw that we have an issue! I believe I am out of the pool of pudding. I am pretty sure I am. Does that sound confident? I am working on it.

Last night...I had Whataburger. That is the best Hamburger for us Texans. I will miss those when we move away. I had every intention of grilling out and had some great asparagus to roast but we went to test drive a car and at 7:30 I was getting text messages from hungry kids. So there was little choice. Again, I don't feel sad, nor worthless. I move along and touch the creases of my mouth with my napkin and say..."that was sure yummy" and I keep on trucking!

I am happy! I am really happy. I guess I am happy in a weird kind of way because though I have so many worries that pull at me...I have an inner peace that all will be all right. I just know this. The more I strive to do what is right for me in all areas in my life, the more that will spill over in to the lives of my family. I just know that to be true. Does that sound confident? That I am not working on. I KNOW THAT IS TRUE BEYOND ANY DOUBT.

I love my family, and I am learning to love me and I am learning to accept me and the way I am little by little. As I slowly "creep down"...if I continue to accept me, I hope that will be the key to my lasting success.

With Thanksgiving next week I must say that I have so much to be profoundly grateful for. There is no need for a list. I am blessed, my family is blessed.

I will eat turkey, I will eat dressing, I will eat pie! So there! It's Thanksgiving Day! And then the next day isn't and I get right back to it. That's how it rolls! Besides, I am eating at a restaurant so there won't be any leftovers here. Good plan, huh?

It's been a few days...thought I ought to check in...

I didn't want to lose track of me...and think I forgot to post.

I have been meaning to get on here and do a quick "check in" but things get hectic between playing taxi, and doing all that I need to. This weekend I probably ate many things I shouldn't have but fortunately they haven't really affected my weight...they did however affect my stomach. I found myself sucking on "Gas X" which is never a good thing. I am sure it was an even a less attractive matter to those who had to be anywhere near me but that is a consequence of going from eating sensibly to eating foods that are not so sensible. The stomach doesn't like it so much and it basically says..."Gross" don't do that.

So this morning I was back to a scrambled egg with some low fat ham, on a high fiber, low fat tortilla which carries me a long time. I do need to grab a snack though, just to keep my blood sugar on an even keel. Even though I am not really hungry...I still need to eat something so my metabolism works right.

I have a ton to do this week and need lots of energy to get it all done. I have two pies to bake for my husband, plus a sweet potato casserole...a big one. He needs all this for work on Thursday. I have cupcakes to make for my "Ladybug" on Wednesday night. There is laundry, and dishes and cleaning, and taxi-ing, OH MY! Thank goodness my energy is returning! Three cheers for eating better and finding renewed strength AND jeans that are looser! That is a HUGE plus!

Here's to a good week...with many prayers of strength to forge ahead to do all I need to do! I will keep all of those trying in them as well! Never one second believe this can't be done...because I know that nothing is impossible. You have to surrender! Don't hold back!

I am His daughter

The Tortoise And The Hare...

I was thinking about that story this morning. Who would I rather be? The tortoise or the hare? Two years ago, I would have been the one ready to be first to the goal line. The faster I got there, the better. Now I believe in pacing myself. I believe now that a slow, steady finish will help me win this race ultimately. So I suppose I shall be that giant, slow, tortoise plotting my way through this. If you think about it though, people who are slower, tend to be more thoughtful and careful about what they are doing so I suppose there is something to be said for that? Agreed?

When I speak of how much I lost in the past in my blog 2 years ago, and how quickly...I want to say right now that I don't recommend that. If I did, I'd still be that tiny thing I was when I lost it and would have never stopped. It was too much, too fast and though my ideas where right and methods were probably right...it wasn't healthy to lose it at that rate. I just don't want anyone to feel like I would ever encourage anyone to want to move at that speed. It sounds good, the immediate gratification is good but the lasting affects? Pshhh...well, here I am!

Now on to dinner last night. I was in a quandary as to what to fix. I wanted something I knew they would all eat and it had been a chicken dish the night before, turkey burgers (for me) and hamburgers for them the night before that, and the night before that is escaping me but I am sure it involved chicken, or turkey. LOL

So, after thinking about it I thought of a favorite thing my husband and kids really like. That is taco bowl salads. I have discovered that if you buy the giant flour tortillas and spray both sides with cooking spray and lay them over a balled up pieced of foil on a cookie sheet on 400 for about 7 minutes or so, they make "bowls". I made these but made one of the smaller ones for me using a low fat, high fiber tortilla from Mission. (Called "Life Balance) Anyway, I took some chicken breasts and coated them in a seasoning mixture I made with chili powder, garlic salt, cumin,sea salt and pepper, some olive oil and lemon juice and let that sit for an hour or so and grilled them. I also grilled two ears of fresh corn on the cob. Then I cut up fresh red peppers, avocado,cilantro, had black beans, tomatoes, fresh spring salad mix, some lower fat cheese, salsa, etc. I cut the corn off the cob and cut up the chicken and put all the stuff on the table and everyone made their own "salads" in a taco bowl. As my kids would say..."easy peasy lemon squeezey"! I have a low fat red pepper vinaigrette I put on mine that is really good.

I took all the left over veg's and cilantro, minus the lettuce and mixed them with the chicken and put them in a pyrex bowl for me to have for lunch today. So it should be good and HEALTHY which is what I am going for!