Monday, October 19, 2015


I didn't start out having a plan...I just shot right in to another round and I wasn't counting the days but then I found myself craving and feeling weird. It was as if because I hadn't established myself in a round technically I wasn't sure where I was. I remedied that and secured my perimeters. Having some idea of where I am and where I am headed gives me boundaries and I need those. It gives me goals and something to reach for. My goal right now is to make it another 30 days. Yesterday I printed off a blank table and in my weird manic brain way filled it out to reflect this 30 days with the dates. I put it on the refrigerator so that I can cross off each day and give myself a visual of where I am at so I don't get lost. The last round I was on FB every day taking pictures of my meals and recording that so I knew exactly where I was but I am not doing that this round. I am eating compliant and staying Whole30 and plugging away with life. That is how I am going to have to do this. I know in my heart eventually I will have to find some sort of way to blend this lifestyle with another so I can make sure I am able to get by in certain circumstances without getting sick or packing on weight. That is a ways off and I can do that slowly and thoughtfully. I think moving is on is my mind and that cross country trip and staying with family for days at a time, etc. I have visions of carrying with me a cooler cross country with "my food" to help me eat better. Who knows...might work out anyway because the dog  can't go in restuarants and I am not leaving her in the hot car so she and I can stay and eat together. :) I need to be careful...I can already feel myself overwhelming with issues that are really so far ahead of me that I need not be worrying with them right now. I need to plant my feet firmly on today and just take it one step at a time. It stinks to be such a planner. It also stinks to be so emotional right now over the huge loss that I already feel in my heart because once I move I will be so far away from my grandbaby. I know this is life and I also know that it is really what it is best for certain reasons but she is the moon and the stars to me and I have been in her life since the moment she took her first breath. She lives with me, she is here with me all the time from the wee hours of the early morning to sunset. Yes, I get overwhelmed and run ragged but my love is never is less. I don't look forward to that day I have to say "Mamaw will see you later PiPi". I got to stop...too much....
Lots to do today. I am not walking today I am taking a break for this Monday. I have walked so much over the last week. I got a new pair of shoes that cost too much on Sunday after I discovered that my other expensive shoes had caused me to lose yet another toenail. Those shoes had some issue, causing blisters, toenail loss, etc. I went and got fitted and chose a different brand all together so I hope I have better luck. On to house cleaning and dropping stuff off and picking things up! (scored a pair of free overalls from a free site I belong to on FB! Yay!) This energy is good stuff to have! I am loving it!

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