Saturday, January 31, 2009

Wow, what a day.

What a gorgeous Saturday and I feel like we got so much done. Kent and I went and bought 3 Azaleas to go in the front flower beds. We had some ugly cedar plants that I pulled out and replaced. Then we went and bought a cubic yard of new black mulch and recovered all our beds in the front yard and around the trees. It was nice to spend most of the afternoon in the yard. Justin was so cute. He was a big help and insisted and doing his share of carrying buckets of mulch and dumping it where it needed to go. He got the thrill of getting his first icecream bar from the icecream man going down the street. I had to laugh and immediately thought of my buddies Melissa and Terri when I heard the familiar "Do Your Ears Hang Low" tune and saw this white van coming down the street. Oh the memories it brought back. I thought..."oh they would say..."don't do it Amy..." "Don't support the terrorist"...but I have never seen an ice cream truck around here and I knew Justin would think it was so cool. I should have just told him the old standby..."hey's a music truck!"

Well, as of today, I have lost 38 pounds. I can't believe how my body has changed. I told Kent that it is pretty amazing how different I feel in just 2 months.

I ordered the rest of the family pizza for tonight but I will eat a WW frozen dinner. Kent said it wouldn't kill me to eat a piece of pizza and he's wouldn't but it would probably make me feel sick and I am not up for that. I eat so little fat...and definitely never eat white flour that my system wouldn't handle that too well.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

After complaining yesterday....

I must be doing something right....because I get on the scale today and now I am down...37 pounds. Yippy Kai A!....... I wonder if it's walking on there with those weights in my hands...maybe so.

Last night I actually fried...yes, fried chicken for my family...GROSS! GROSS! I baked mine but they felt like they were having the biggest treat to get something fried! Did I mention frying is gross?

I was watching Biggest Loser last night....and I saw something on there I didn't agree with nutritionally. I always giggle at their little "info-mercials" for yo-plait, or extra gum, but last night it was "Fiber One" cereal which I love. I am a fan definitely. So Bob is going on about how 1/2 a cup is 60 calories and with milk is 100. That's not a smart breakfast especially for those folks....and no I am not a nutrition expert. How can they eat 100 calories and then go workout like they do and survive? It's not wonder they lose the amount of weight they do. They are starving. I just hate for people who are working hard and think that everything they see on that show is gospel to think that eating 100 calories, and with that much fiber is enough for a meal...there is some protein in milk....but not enough to get you by that long. Okay...just soap boxin! What did I have for breakfast? I had Quaker High Fiber Oatmeal Maple Brown Sugar, 1 Cup of Skim Milk and 1/3 cup cooked egg whites. When Justin wakes up it's off to the gym I go. Busy day today.

Back to Biggest Loser...I had tears...I always have tears when I watch that show. When Dan finally ran that 5 minutes on the tread mill... and when he talked about how he never believed he could be thin because he had never been that way. Well, I understood that. I have always been bigger than other people. I am big boned. I don't mean that in an excuse kind of way, I mean I am literally big boned. I have size 10.5 feet and skin stretched over bone I am no smaller than a size 10-12. Of course I don't know if I have ever been that size. I think when I am at my goal I will have not been there since I was in 7th grade. Yep, you read that right. I am just not small and never will be. That's why I don't aspire to be some little bitty thing...I aspire to be no longer medically overweight but more than that....I want to be HEALTHY and capable of doing anything I want to do and have no limits physically.

Kent and I have a big anniversary in Feb. of 2010 and I told him I want to go to the Bahamas or somewhere like that...somewhere with clear blue water. I'd like to go there and participate and all kinds of things that I never would before because I was FAT. I'd never climb on a jet ski, or para-sail, or snorkel or anything like that because I was FAT....but I am just not going to allow myself to be held back any longer. I want to live and enjoy all kinds of experiences that I have never had before.

I know some people are turned off by the word "FAT" but guess what? I am a girl who says..."It is what it is". FAT IS FAT! I am way to priss around it. I am working on it...changing....but it is what I won't be delicate about using the sorry if it makes anyone reading this wince.....remember I said a while back....I can be salty! Fat! Fat! Fat! There, I said it. (three times in fact!)

Our insurance covers weight loss surgery now and a lot of people are opting for that. I understand that a lot of thought and prayer and so many things go in to that decision. I wrestled with that decision. My weight alone would qualify me for it. My reasons for not choosing that route are because I have things that occur in my head constantly. I eat for emotional reasons, I am a stress eater, boredom eater....LOTS of bad habits...years in the making. Having surgery would not fix that for me. It might fix a short term issue but not a long term and the long term is what I am working on....the inner changes. I have come to believe that if I have to fight tooth and nail for this....literally work my ass off....fight all those demons on the way down....then I will have accomplished something that WLS can't accomplish for me. This is HARD....HARD....HARD. I have to push myself to do things I don't like doing, don't want to do...don't feel like doing but I do...because it is saving my life and because the more I do it....the more I see I CAN DO IT! The more I see something in me that reveals my potential and capabilities. Again, for me...WLS....could not give me that. I don't discredit people who take that option at all because we all have our reasons and they have a hard fight and road. I hopefully will have only one surgery in my future and that will be voluntary when I have all my weight off.....I am going for that washboard tummy! Yep....4 children have wrecked my abdominal wall and no amount of exercise will repair that. It's actually painful so someday I will do that. Maybe they can take out my worn out uterus while they are in there.

Alright, well my little guy is up, gotta feed the boy wonder breakfast and then I must get to the telephone booth and change in to my workout costume....hahahahah. Just kidding!

If you have made it this far, you're good! Thanks for sticking with me! Love to all!

Have a great day!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

That darn treadmill, or is it me...or both...okay it's me...

Those plateaus are no fun. I don't mean weight plateaus but it seems like my body is adjusting again to my workout again and so it's time to turn it up. I was on the treadmill today, doing my thing...sweating...working pretty hard but obviously not hard enough because my heart rate just would not climb like I needed it too...frustrating. That's the good thing about wearing a heart monitor is being able to really see that. Knowing whether or not the heart is really getting a good work out is key. When I went to the cardiologist I was able to check this monitor to see how accurate it really is and I am proud to report it is spot on! Anyway....I guess I am going to invest in one of these "Shred" videos and move some furniture and add that to the weekly routine.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

So Now I am over 35...yeah...

35.4 to be exact.....Yes....that makes me so happy. I know I really shouldn't push myself to be a certain number by a certain date but I'd really like to peel off another 10 by the end of February. How bad is that? Well, it's a goal anyway....I know it's doable especially at the steady rate I have been going....

The other day I went to Target to get some prescriptions filled and had a few minutes to kill. For fun I just went and tried on much smaller pants.....hahahahahah. Nope, didn't buy them...but I fit in every every zipper up.... and that was so nice. Things like that are good for my soul...they encourage me.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Some "Good Things"

I drink LOTS of water but these little babies are a nice treat to add in sometimes! I love the raspberry lemonade. I got them in my stocking at Christmas...that and gum. My poor hubby had to get creative since he no longer can sweeten me up with peanut M&M's. LOL

This stuff is cool. It is Ham bouilion and so good for cooking beans. I am using it tonight for boiling cabbage in. It is low fat and adds lots of flavor without all the calories, fat and cholesterol...just watch the salt because it does have that.

These are some of the Good things that keep me going. Lots of high fiber foods, lean turkey, fruit, nuts, dried beans....

This is snack time! 1/2 a cup of Greek Yogurt (nonfat of course) 1/2 cup of raspberries, and a Tbsp. of Bare Naked fit granola....Total about 135 calories and super yummy.

33.4 Thank goodness!

The scale was stuck for two days.....
I was afraid I had hit a wall. I know those walls are bound to happen but I'd like for them to come a little further down the road if it can be helped. LOL

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A few more pictures just for fun..........

After...a work in progress 32 and counting....

These pictures are hard to take much less look at but they are important because they are milestones. STONES. I have lost my 3 year old. I can hold him out and feel the weight of him and understand that I no longer carry THAT on my frame any longer. I need those visualisations. Anyway...I wish I looked better...but I am better than I was....definitely.... where I was headed in to 24's I am now in 18's. Where I had more than 120 to lose I now have less than those are big accomplishments and I AM PROUD of myself and I have decided that it is okay to be proud of me. I am starting to like the person I see. I don't stay in my pajamas all day...I actually put on socks and tennis shoes and wear cute athletic wear around the house.... I am making an effort to be better.... I feel better.

Pictures are worth 32 Plus Pounds. Before

Sadly....these before pictures I was spilling into a 24 (so a tight 22). They were taken Nov. 30th the day before I began my journey.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Gotta Get My Fix........

It's been a couple of days. I meant to get on here yesterday but the day slipped away from me. Saturday was wonderful. We spent the day puttering around in the back yard. We started our raised beds for our garden and I planted a raspberry bush and blueberry bush. My herb seedlings are doing pretty well. I am now taking them outside to the shade during the day and then back in at night. I can't wait for spring and get in to full planting mode.

Kent and I went to the gym tonight. It felt good. I keep getting this weird buring at the back of my neck and that bothers me. I thought it was my sports bra but it happens when I am not wearing it. I wonder what that is about. Anyway......that is all I have to complain about...well, my house is a mess but it's always a mess......LOTS to do......always plenty to do.

Got on the scale this morning....32.4 now....seems like I am averaging about 2.5 -3 a week. That's pretty good. I'd love to keep up this pace but I know that my weight will slow down eventually when I get in to the really hard weight....that'll be the nails on the chalk board weight.....You'll hear me really spittin and sputterin then.

Off to bed for me! It's late.

Friday, January 16, 2009

31.4 Yay! Running on the Treadmill...YIKES!

It's still coming off at a pretty good clip and that is exciting. A friend of mine asked me the other day how I stick with it. I guess it's because I am not on a diet. I just changed the way I eat all together. I don't count calories...I WATCH what I eat...and am very aware of it. Yeah, I do measure my cereal in the morning...and I have been known to measure my milk at times. I know what 4 oz of chicken or turkey look like but for the most part...I just WATCH....what I eat. I do use my 1/4 cup when I am getting my almonds to eat and if that isn't' handy...well, I count 28. LOL

So yesterday I tried for the first day this running program that is a 10 week program. The first week you walk for 10 minutes then you run for 1 minute, walk for 2, then run 1 and alternate walking 2...and you do this for 5 reps. and end with 1 more one minute run and then another 10 minute walk. You end up having run for 7 minutes. Hubby and I went to the gym last armed with my giant stop watch and I did this on the tread mill and I got through 4 of the reps but darn it all if I just could not do the last 3. I don't know what it is about running on the tread mill that is so hard for me. It's like a bad movie and I feel like I am going to fly off the back and out the wall. So I am holding on for dear life...and then I have one finger on the "arrow" speeding it up when it's time to speed up...and then finger on the arrow...frantically trying to slow down when I need to slow down...all the while feeling like I am going to fall over....and holding on for dear's crazy. I am sure there has to be a rhythm to it with the tread mill but I have not got it. I may do better just jogging on the trails here and doing it that way...probably much easy than fighting the treadmill.

Thanks for all the comments to those who leave really makes me feel so good and I am grateful for the support. I can't wait to get my laptop up and running because I did take a before picture and will soon post that with a current picture so y'all can see the change!


Thursday, January 15, 2009

My Visit To the Dr Went....


Yep, everything checked out and he said for me to keep on keepin on. He told me to keep doing exactly what I am doing and he'd be really interested to see how the numbers check out with my cholesterol after losing so much weight. They did an echo and my heart looks healthy and great size. I passed the stress test with flying colors....So no extra meds......just continue on this path.

I went to the gym late yesterday evening. I did some weights and then the treadmill. I actually was trying to push myself a bit more on the treadmill and that felt good. I was doing sprints. I probably need to get a stop watch I can hold in my hand rather than the one on my wrist because it is hard for me to run and look over at my wrist and focus on the chronometor. I know that sounds weird but I don't see that great my tiny watch so I have to focus and I am so worried that I am going to fly off the back of the treadmill. So trying to do that while running wo uld freak me out. I know...weirdo here.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I am going to the Cardiologist today!

I'll check in later and let you know how it goes!











Monday, January 12, 2009

Old Proverb..............


I'd hate to end up where I was headed....change is GOOD!

I Felt Like Homer Simpson Today

Except I wasn't drooling over Doughnuts......

I made Justin some buttered toast this morning. I left the butter on the counter and I left for a bit and when I came back and saw the softened butter.....I got all googly and thought like Homer must....and.....said.....BUTTER.....but no....didn't touch it! I am actually turned off by the stuff! I made real, yeah...the real kind....french fries for my family the other night and I was so grossed out by the smell and the oil popping about yuck! I do not miss that crap at all.....of course I had to make my lovely comments to make them all so much more appealing to them..."here's your artery clogging, thigh jiggling, muscle shrinking, fat sludging...etc, etc..."

I just ate a very yummy salad. I grilled some chicken last night. I am such a good griller! I put the slightest bit of bbq sauce on it and it was delish! Anyway...I have these super high fiber, light English muffins so I cubed them and put them in a bowl with a teaspoon of olive oil drizzled on them with these Italian seasonings I got from this fancy smancy oil store and I shook them around and then put them on a pan and toasted them for some yummy bread crumbs. I put them on my salad with left over grilled chicken and lots of veg's.

Today's number is 29.2.

Justin and I are going on a walk in a bit as soon as my lunch settles. It was so cold this morning but it is turning out to be so nice. I like going to the gym but if I can be outside in the sunshine I love that even more!

I am super excited about my garden plans....Yeppers! I have planted my herbs in the little starter thingies already. I checked out some books and the bug has bit me. I am looking forward to getting it started. Someone on the Coastie Chicks board mentioned "Square Foot Gardening" and I checked out the book and I do believe this is going to be the way to go......What a fun hobby this is going to be for our entire family. I can say......."Kids......go pick me a salad!" hahahahaha
Katie wants strawberries so I told her she is in charge of learning about those and those will be her babies but of course she has to share.

Friday, January 9, 2009


So I am finding myself in the "bad place" where I require lots of self talk. Not about I am tempted by food or anything because suprisingly...I have no desire to break from my routines with eating well or exercising. I just find myself being hard on my body in my head. I have been down this road I know the drill and here it goes...and the ever familiar march....
I wonder how I could explain it. I am sure I am smaller....but my head or my eyes don't want to see that. Instead...I look in the mirror and think "I should be smaller than this" or run my hands over my body and think...."It's just not good enough yet". I know that is nuts....not right and everything else but it comes with fight. This is where I have given up before because this is where it gets so sticky. So I am going to do as I was told by "Arty" to do....just be aware of those feelings...and instead of trying to ignore, push away...think it's wrong for me to have them, try to change them....ACKNOWLEDGE them and then move along. How old am I? I am almost 43? I have probably not been thinking quite right for a long time so that is not going to change over night. I have also been overweight for a long time and my body is not going to change over night....neither is my perception of it.

So I keep on going....and going and going. They are not all "UP" days. Fiber isn't yummy every day...hahahahaha.

I stared down that eliptical last night and I beat it for 15 minutes! I was proud of myself. I hear folks say how much they like it...Personally I don't get it but that's okay. Anyway...they other day I did 10 minutes on it and then my 40 on the Treadmill but last night I did 15 minutes and then my Treadmill. Before you know it I'll be one of those sweating like a pig maniacs on it like my husband....hahahahahaha. (love you honey!) No, seriously, that was an accomplishment for me....little by little.

Alright...gotta a house to clean...which never gets stays in this state of suspension of a big mess no matter what I do....Why did we get such a big house? Uhggggg!


Thursday, January 8, 2009

27.4 BOO YA!

Yeah Baby!

Yesterday Justin and I walked for an hour. The thing that sucks is that I have a lovely blister on my right heel. I am afraid of what that may do to me today. I may try wearing my old shoes and see if it doesn't bother me. I got new shoes this weekend and I am trying to break them in. (New Asics) I guess worse case is I will do all weights and stretching today if that is what it comes down to. That is something right?

I seriously need a haircut! BAD! It's just that my hair looks so awful that I am embarrassed to go to get it cut. So tell me how much sense that makes? hahahahaha I am letting the grey grow come in. The last time I got it cut I told the lady to thin it out because I wanted a bunch of the color cut off. She didn't do what I asked so I took a pair of thinning shears to it...and well, I went a little willy nilly. So it needs to be shaped up....I guess I won't do that again. Well, never say never....

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I have hit that place on the tread mill!

It's not making me sweat like it should! Yuck....that means I have to turn it up a notch! I crank that sucker up to 15 incline and do that for good stretches of time, and then I go back to walking at a pretty good clip of 3.5 mph with and incline of 2.5 but it's not enough. I am on the treadmill for a good 45.50 minutes but it's not I need a new game plan. I tried to run on there the other night but don't know if I don't have the new shoes broken in or what but that was a no go. I am about to head out to the Dr. Gonna be curious to see what she says when she sees what I have lost in the last month.....coin toss....she gonna be happy or tell me to slow down. Who knows.

I am going to make a low fat King Ranch Chicken for dinner tonight. Katie will love that....she loves that dish....

I talked to my dear friend Tammy today........(Love you T-Bob!) I miss her! It was fun talking to her today. If I was in Cape Cod...I could be walking in the snow.....shoot....I could be snow shoeing....hahahahahaha!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Wow, It's 2009

Can you believe it's 2009???????????

I can hardly believe it! Where has the time gone?

I went and worked out this afternoon. I did 50 hard minutes on the treadmill. There was a lady in the gym and we were talking and that made the time go so much faster. It turned out she is a trainer at Bally's Fitness. I told her what I have been doing and though she was concerned about the rate of my weight loss she said it did sound like I am doing all the right things. She did say that I need to add weights to my routine or I am not going to like my body soon. I know she is right. So I will work on a schedule of reps on the machines in the gym. Fortunately they have a nice set up over there and it'll only add 20 minutes more or so to my work out. I can do weights on 3 of my work out days a week.

We got the tree out. I have to pull all the boxes out from under the stairs and put everything away. I am not looking forward to that. I am looking forward to the holidays being over with though. This time of year things start to settle a little bit. I can get in to my groove and continue to get strong. I have got to get back to my medical coding. I really have gotten behind and I want to pick it back up and start studying. I could actually study while I am on the tread mill....hmmmmmmmm.....that's an idea.

I go to the Dr. on Tuesday...I wonder what she is going to say.....she is either going to be happy or tell me to slow down....I just don't know what I could do differently. I am not being stupid.....I really eat well, eat plenty and exercise moderately.....I believe I have just gone from one who drank nothing but diet soda and was sedentary and ate bad drinking water, eating well and the amount I need for fuel and moving my I am losing. It will slow way down eventually.....I know that day is coming....the smaller I get.....but for now....I'll enjoy this.

New Years....We're Back!

Well, back from our trip to Mississippi! It was fun but I am tired. I feel like there is so much to be done here. Unfortunately I got in only one day of walking because my lovely female troubles kicked in. You see.....I have been on projesterone for 10 days to force "Mother Nature" in to rearing her ugly head and she did....WITH A VENGENCE. It was almost so bad I thought I might be anemic due to the lack of red meat I have eaten in the last 6 weeks or so. So I layed pretty low for two days feeling kinda weak.

Anyway....I weighed in this morning and have a new numbah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down 26 pounds. Not bad. I think I may have to go rifle through the Good Will racks because I am not going to invest in new clothes because I won't be in them long enough to get any money's worth out of them. I am kicking myself for giving away my "skinny clothes". I am in what few I had in my closet.

I have spent a good bit of the day reorganizing my kitchen cabinets and the Christmas Tree awaits....YUCK! I am not looking forward to putting all that stuff away but looking forward to getting the house back to normal. Fun Times.

Alright....gotta finish my yogurt and then get the kitchen all finished, go workout and get back to work....too much to do and too little time to do it in.

Happy 2009! May Everyone Be Blessed This Year With Positive Changes!