Thursday, April 16, 2009

Self Love....jeez...What a toughy sometimes!

So why is it that I am so much better than I once was...and yet I still have those critical glasses on? Ugh....I hate that. I have those days....I expect them but jeez....some are far worse than others. Those are the days that I know I am having to work on my head....and have a talk with that nasty "other voice" that likes to peek around the corner sometimes. You know the one that reminds me that yeah, my legs are smaller but look how lumpy they are, or how saggy my butt is, or how my neck is hanging down now because I have lost the fat in it, or how my stomach would be so much smaller if it I could cut off that skin and pooch from having 4 kids, etc, etc, etc. I think in cartoonish ways....wanting to dip my hands in a gelatinous and super fluid-like mirror and choke that person I see and say...."Knock that crap off"! I know better! I truly know better. This is just part of the journey though....this is the fighting's not just the walking and the eating and the sweating....the is part of the struggling. The voices that try to tell you that no matter how hard you try it won't be good enough. The funny thing is.....I finally know better....I just don't like listening to them....I find them annoying and painful.

Yesterday I went to Walmart to get some stuff. I had fun reading the labels on BBQ sauce of all things. Now when I read labels I look at a lot of things. I look at fat calories, sodium, total calories, serving size, how many servings are actually in a package (they actually are very sneaky with that one) FIBER...biggie with me...almost always looking for 3 grams or more (depending on what it is) and then sugar. So I was shocked at the differences in BBQ sauces. They have such a huge range in sugar grams and if your aren't a label won't catch it. I saved 35 calories....just by doing some research and blocking the isle. (giggle!) It wasn't even a lite sauce, just the Walmart Hickory brand that was 35 calories for 2 tbsp serving. It had only 6 grams of sugar. I took a round roast that I had removed all the fat from. (which there was very little of in the first place) and covered it in a dry rub seasoning I make, put a little BBQ sauce and then put it in the crock pot and let it cook all day. Last night I shredded that up and we had it on whole wheat buns I buy that are sugar-free, high fiber and only 110 calories for the bun. I made coleslaw with cabbage and carrots to top them with. I make a dressing for the coleslaw which is very good which has canola mayo, honey, apple cider vinegar, celery seed, kosher salt and black pepper. I use very little to a lot of cabbage and carrots.

Why am I telling you what I had for dinner? Because I have people ask me what I eat? I feed my family pretty normal meals...I just watch how I fix them. If I didn't try to do things as normal as possible this wouldn't be a "life change". Tonight I am making red beans and rice. (brown rice of course, sausage will be smoked turkey sausage. I am using ham base which is a ham bouilion, no fat in it instead of frying up a bunch of bacon....but it does have some bacon. I actually bought the real bacon pieces that have 1.5 g's of fat that you would use in salad. I chose that over the "center cut" that is supposed to be a better choice over regular bacon but even that has 4 g's of fat. I only added in 2.5 oz so there isn't too much in there but enough for some flavor. It's really yummy. I did buy some frozen biscuits for the crew so they'll have a treat...haha...cuz Mama ain't makin no biscuits! I have left over cole slaw! I am all set!

Well, it's early and I got a whole day ahead of me for house cleaning and walking and hopefully accomplishing plenty.

And...before I sign off....just stepped on the scale...and it read....208.4.... so that's 71.6
I do this silly 3 times a charm thing. I get on and off three times. If it reads that same number 3 times then I accept it... I know...I know...I am just weird like that.

Have a great day!

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