Thursday, April 9, 2009

I need me a bicycle....With a big ass seat!

Like This One....But with a much bigger seat! And it's even favorite! Sigh.......
Seriously, I took Logan for a bike ride last night. I wasn't able to use my bicycle because the darn movers bent the frame. So it's trashed now. Mine had the big Mama, temper-pedic,"how big can your butt" get seat on it...and me likey! Hubby's bike is what I was using last night and it has the....well, I have discovered that I am "getting to be nothing but bones down yonder" seat and it was painful to say the least. However....I had the best Logan and just spending time with him. At first I thought I could only go "so far" because I just wasn't used to it but I pushed on and it was really so much fun and I am so glad I went. I see families on the trails I walk on bikes and I think that we need to get to biking...maybe throw Justin on the back of one and do some serious biking. I'm dreaming....I have to add it to the list of all the other stuff we need to get, fix, pay for....such is life.
This weekend we are taking the kids to Sea World in San Antonio. I am crossing my fingers for good weather. I am so excited about it honestly because I know it's not going to be miserable for me anymore to get around. I don't share with many about the time I was with the kids at Six Flags and we were in CA. Kent was out on the ship so it was just me and them. I got on a ride with them, It was one of those pirate ship looking rides that swings back and forth and they had everyone on it and when they were trying to lock down the bars that go over the laps...they wouldn't lock down....they started walking by checking for the problem...and they found it. It was me. I was too big....and the bar wouldn't lock down on they had to move me on the ride in front of everyone....and in front of my another spot on the ride where there was more room and where my body would fit better and the bar would lock down. Just one of those humiliating moments. Not THE most humiliating but one of many.....being fat...being miserable...being limited by your's just awful. I cannot even begin to describe it and I don't want to but I share things like that here and there with people who read this....just to help remind bad it's been. I am so looking forward to no longer being limited by my body. I am excited to participate in activities where I don't an excuse. I am no longer going to say...."I can't do that...I'm too fat..." or "I'm not going to wear that...I'm too fat.". I am looking forward to lots of pool time this summer, trips to the beach hopefully, rides....more long walks, hikes.... jumping on the back of a 4 wheeler when we go to name it. The more I lose...the more freedom I have. It's as if something has been unlocked inside of me and I feel tremendous courage, self esteem and gratitude. This whole process has drawn me closer to my family because I am not only fighting for me...I am fighting for them. This makes me better for them...and gives me the opportunity to be here longer for them...and happier for them.
So everyone have a Happy Easter and don't eat too many chocolate bunnies or jelly beans. Remember the true reason for this sacred day. What a gift we have been given in the resurrection of our Savior. I am very grateful for forgiveness and new beginnings. I am so thankful he gave his life for me and you. I only hope I can live a life that is worthy of so great a sacrifice.

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