Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Survival of the fittest! That is what I call Halloween!

I survived every bit of it! No going through the candy to find an almond joy, reeses peanut butter cup, nothing. I just stayed away from it!

I made some low fat red beans and brown rice for dinner last night. My husband said the smoked turkey sausage had "no flavor"! Oh well! I tried!

Yesterday I almost...almost signed up for a weight loss challenge on one of the boards I participate in. It has been so long since I did that. I chose not to though. My reasoning is because I am afraid to worry so much about how much I am losing and though I have chosen a an amount by a certain date, it's really,really reasonable. It is like 6.5 pounds a month. I am now talking 47 pounds in 7 months. Before I lost 114 pounds in 9 months approx. HUGE difference there. Even when I lose 47 I won't be quite as small as I was but I will be close...close enough that if I wanted to I could get there. I just didn't feel comfortable there, so why go there? Or maybe I lost it so super fast that I never gave myself the time to feel comfortable there and that is why it was such a shock to me and that is why I was like..."Hey, this is not me, and this is all wrong." I honestly have no idea and don't pretend to know. It was my own sabotage.

The rest of it...I have to chase those demon numbers out of my head because they seriously mess with me BAD. I am already starting that horrendous cycle of climbing on the scale daily and that is not cool. Yes, it is moving...DOWN. When it does that I start this spinning thought process that is harmful so I have to check and recheck my thinking. What is my goal here ultimately...to spend my entire life doing this over and over and over? Honestly, I really don't. In fact I need to be super careful what I do because if it is too extreme...it won't last. Maybe I need to take all that in to consideration.

I don't want my family to just hate my guts. Of course they didn't hate me before. In fact for a while they have asked me "when are we going to start eating healthy again"? That says something to me.

Anyway, off to make a good breakfast. Egg whites, some mushrooms,red peppers and spinach all wrapped up in a whole grain, low carb tortilla with hot sauce. I try sometimes to get lots of veg's in the morning to make sure I get them in. Last nights dinner for instance though I in protein and fiber had no veg's. So I try to fit them in where I can. This kind of breakfast will fill me up and I can eat a very light lunch of yogurt and fruit and call it good.

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