Those fun head games.....

Long ago I mentioned in my blog the fun things that go on inside my head. The battles that rage as I lose weight. I am now getting to a size, weight where I feel those things really coming in to play now....this is the "point" in the past where I have started to waver. No wavering now because I have been so prepared for this...I have been waiting in the hedges you might say for those naughty thoughts to come marching over the hill and here they come.

First of all....it is completely wonderful to feel so comfortable in a pair of jeans....I absolutely love this feeling. I love them fitting so well that they are actually long, don't ride up my butt, and I don't feel like a frump. It's so cool to be at this point....and to know it's just going to get better, and better. HOWEVER, the ol' brain here...and history... wants to say...."hey, wait a minute....your comfortable, confident....happy?....uh...positive? your not supposed to feel like that!" ....and then the sabotage tries to set in like a ticker tape running on the bottom of a TV screen reminding me that I shouldn't feel so good....like it's a bad thing! Bad Amy! Well, as I said....I have been waiting for this...I know how it's been in the past and this time....I know better. This is right, it is a good thing and by golly, I deserve this. Some days I feel like I have " Eye Of The Tiger" from the "Rocky" movie playing in my head. I am fighting for this like crazy and without a doubt....NO DOUBT....I will reach my goals. I have been getting frustrated this week because I have added weights in my workout and I have gained weight...minimal amount but if the scale goes up an ounce...I have a freak out....but I am definitely smaller. I am in size 14 pants now. So I am much smaller than when I started....size 24 to a 14...yeah, I'd say I am smaller. I used to "think" I knew what size I'd be when I got to my goal weight but now I am not so sure....because I have 65 pounds to go and I thought a 10 or 12 was going to be the magic size...but now that I am getting in to 14's...uh....well, just can't imagine what I'll fit in....I better not think about it...or I will really have some serious head games going on.

One day at a time.....fight, fight, fight...