Thursday, March 5, 2009

The difference between Knowing and Hoping....

I have been walking around with this feeling deep down in my soul for a while. It is such an amazing feeling and one that I had never felt before about myself and my abilities to reach my goals. So many times....I mean more than I could ever begin to recite....I have tried and tried....only to fail....I gave up. I could give you a bajillion reasons...(I know it's not a number it sounds good and sounds like a LOT!) and I could ramble off a crap ton of excuses as to why I just stood there in the mist and let my goals just fade away. This time is so completely different. I feel different in a way I have ever felt before. It is the difference now between hoping that I'll make it to my goal and knowing. I KNOW that by Christmas if not before I will be at my goal....there is not one doubt at all in my heart, mind, whatever. It is so ingrained in me....it is a clear shot and I breathe this. I want my life and my health and NOTHING is in the way. I no longer stand in my way.......and for whatever silly reasons.......I always did in the past. I stopped ME from getting "there".

I was talking to my dear friend Terry and I told her...almost like it was indulgent of me to say...."do you know how good it feels to like yourself?" I am proud and happy with who I am, and who I see. It's not even the outer physical shell that I am talking about....it's the stronger person that I see and the person that I know can push through what is tough and not always comfortable.

This is power....the power that is driving me to keep going and giving me energy. The cloak of fat and helplessness I felt gets lighter all the time and I feel amazing!

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