Monday, November 24, 2014

Odd thoughts....

Last night I was in the shower and I bent over to wash my feet of all things and I had a really weird thought. That thought rolled in to another one....then in to another. The first thought was how grateful I was to be able to bend over with ease to wash my feet. I remember the balancing act I used to do to have to such things. Being brutally honest here. A harder "yoga" like feat was putting on my pants standing up with out falling in to the wall. So I began to feel a sense of gratitude for how things of changed. Some people won't be able to relate to this but I know others will. Then I started to have some rather sad thoughts. I realized that one day there will come a time that I won't be able to stand in a shower and take care of myself. I may not be able to stand and put on my own pants. I will rely on the assistance of others. I know those sound like such "morbid" thoughts at this time in my life but I guess this comes from having a daughter that is a CNA and works with the elderly. leads me to the thoughts that I want to live and enjoy the rest of my life. I don't want to hate this body of mine anymore and feel so trapped by it. I turn 49 in February and I suppose I consider myself approaching "middle age" so I have no time to waste.....none at all.

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