Today is MONDAY, January 5, 2015 and I am a ONSIE!!!!

199.4 Oh yeah! I am so excited! Finally! I have actually spent the week in a really weird place. I haven't been too worried about things. I have been eating right, and walking but I have also allowed myself more wiggle room I guess. I have tried to eat more with my family. Last night I made a yummy dinner and actually sat and ate most everything with them with the exception of the mashed potatoes. I ate a baked sweet potato instead. I fought the head games and honestly didn't know what the scale had in store for me today. The other night my hubby and I went to dinner and I made what I felt like was a relatively safe choice for dinner though I know the Béarnaise sauce was not cool. I chose extra veg instead of a starch and only ate half of the meal. I still had these awful mind games going on during the ride home, perhaps even before we left the restaurant. It was as if I could feel myself growing right there, getting fatter. I can't do that. It just doesn't happen that way and I KNOW BETTER. Having thoughts like that diminish good experiences and will ruin my opportunity for success. This is one of the reasons why I see a strong need to plan more meals, experiment more and start having more fun in the kitchen with my family. I love to cook/bake/create and this is my opportunity to do so while getting to that final goal and then learning to maintain my weight. So now that I am under 200, I have 25-30 pounds to go to be in what I consider a safe/happy place. That will be a great weight for me for my build/height. LOTS of working ahead of me but I know I can do it...the real work will be keeping it off once I get there and staying excited about my health, happiness. I want to find something other than walking that I can enjoy doing that builds strength and endurance. I need more hobbies. I will have to keep my eyes/ears peeled but I am honestly so excited about the prospects that having a leaner, healthier body will offer me.