Wednesday, December 3, 2014

61 pounds. Yow!

I got on the scale this morning and was excited to see it said 210.6. The reason for my excitement was because I have a goal that I am 210 by the 12th when my daughter gets here from college. Then in slowly dawned on me that I have now lost 60 pounds. I had a "no wait a minute moment" and realized, it was 61 yay. I am excited about that but really glad that I have .6 pounds to lose by next Friday to meet my next "goal". I feel like that is definitely doable. Last night I went downstairs and worked out with the weights. I cranked up the music and did about 30 minutes working on arms, legs and actually tried some sit ups. I hate to admit that it felt like I just wasn't doing those right. What in the heck is a sit up supposed to feel like. I wish I remembered. I know there is an appropriate way to do them but I just don't remember. Grrr....Guess I need to do that up and do my research. Yesterday, I went out "window shopping" and also to pick up a few stocking stuffers. I had a rush of joy come over me in one store when I realized that all these beautiful clothes I was looking at...I could wear. I could actually buy off the rack. Of course they were way out of my price range but I can finally go in a regular women's department and buy off the rack instead of heading to the 1X/2X/3X section. That is reason right there to make me have such a joyful and happy heart. These are the feelings I want to imprint on my soul and remember so when I am tempted to give up, and throw my hands up and just say "I am sick of this" remember. This is really hard. It is hard when my family constantly asks what it for dinner and I am still struggling with hold to mesh what I want with what they want. I need to set a goal to work harder on that and balance, balance, balance that. I am still seperating myself a lot. I just feel like I need to and they are not going to want to eat as many green things and veg things as I feel like I need. I don't eat a ton of salad stuff, I just have more veg's than I eat meat or carbs. I LOVE roasted veg's. Last night I made some ham, and I made them some mac & cheese, but I also made some roasted sweet potatoes dusted with cumin & chili powder, and roasted brocolli for me. I ate just a little ham, a smallish portion of the sweet potatoes but chowed down on the brocolli. During all my running around yesterday I didn't get to "eat" a proper lunch so it consisted of an apple and cheese stick but it was something. I am rambling but I keep this blog of ramblings for me so it's okay. Today is a great day and I am proud of myself for the changes I have made and for how great I feel. I want to live. I want to keep smiling. I want to enjoy my family! I want to be happy. In the end when I get to that "goal" hope is that getting there will only make all of that easier. I mean the physicality of enjoying some of lifes pleasures with my family that I have avoided because I was uncomfortable with my size. I want to get there...and keep working to stay there. That will be a "rest of my life" challenge.

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