202.8 Today....

68.8 and I am wondering if I will see the a 1 in front of the numbers by first part of January. It is a possibility. I hope so anyway. I was walking the other night and thinking my "deep thoughts" as I often do. I remember when I lost so much weight before and then turned around and quickly gained it back again. I tortured myself over the years with looking back at this blog and other places at pictures of the very thin me. I was asking myself as I walked how I am going to make sure that never happens again. How do I make sure when I reach my goal can I maintain my goal. First, I think I need to be realistic. At first my goal was 160 and while I believe I can probably get to 160, I also believe I will be outrageously thin if I do. So 170-175 is probably more in an area that would be healthy, and would be a great healthy weight that I'd look good/feel good and would find a place I could maintain. Then I think about flexibility. I know I need to move toward an area of flexibility in my eating. Right now I can't because of this elimination diet but once this 4 weeks is over with, I need to work harder at making dinner that not only my family eats but I can eat. Many times I eat something different than they eat. Again, that is not a realistic way to live for the rest of my life and it can get to be miserable. So blending and finding flexibility and more creativity. It would probably solve a big issue of the "what's for dinner Mom" question that comes up constantly. Planning ahead, buying ahead and perhaps even preparing ahead would help eliminate some frustration. My family can benefit from healthy eating. They ate better before, and they can certainly do it again. I also believe that I could benefit from counseling. My weight is not just about overeating and lack of exercise for years. It is other things and I need to work out those kinks so I can stay on track and find tools to stay motivated. I blog and this is my way to record my thoughts and feelings. It is one "tool" I use. I walk. I wear my exercise clothes more than I wear regular clothes because they remind me that I need to get out and get moving. I do a lot of little things on my own but some insight and guidance from someone else might be helpful.