Sunday, July 5, 2009
4th of July! I enjoyed myself!
Which means I ate things I normally wouldn't. I ate a rib. I ate some sausage. I ate a little pasta salad made with white pasta. I even ate one cupcake. (covers mouth!) I have to say that the cupcake almost made me hurl! I am not kidding...it was sickeningly sweet and I realized that I just don't miss that stuff AT all. People ask me if I miss sweets and I tell them I don't. It was kind of funny when I had the cupcake to recognize that it just didn't "do it for me" like it used to. I also had corn on the cob...with my diet butter of course...that was a treat! I haven't eaten corn on the cob in over 8 months. Anyway...after enjoying myself I have to shoo away the mind games that want to creep in. I found myself literally pinching my sides not an hour after I ate wondering if I was magically gaining. I got up this morning grimacing afraid to look in the mirror for fear I might look different. THAT is still the battle that rages in my head. I have to be able to enjoy some things here and there and not worry about it. I got to move on. I honestly didn't eat all that much last night but it wasn't the norm so that is why I am a little obsessive about it....and I have to choose not to be. I will wrestle this monster my entire life....it's my reality.
Posted by MyThoughtsExactly at 1:06 PM