I am going to type fast because I need to get to bed but I have thoughts...thoughts...thoughts....racing round my head. I am going to work on this blog. I am changing the name....so stay tuned. I wanted to at least put words not paper but in space I suppose...internet space....some things that came to me today while I was walking. Yeah...today...day after Christmas I was power walking. I did my 45 minutes....I had to....I was thinking about "Power" and "Blame"....and how...I suppose in my life....I have given too much of that to other people....you know? Okay...perhaps you don't...whoever "you" are...the invisible "you" are that might read this. What I mean is.....No one is to blame for why I am the way I am.....that gives people power and I realise that no one has any power over me. I have it all....yep....I have the POWER.....it's all inside me....to change who I am....to become who I want to become....to be the sculpture. I am not giving anyone....not ANYONE in my past, present...future that kind of power in my life....it's mine....yeah....I am finally selfish....my life to direct....
The other observation I made was I was on this road and there was a sign at the end of it with an arrow that turn right. The sign let me know that there was a change ahead. I was starting to get tired..it was nearing the end of my walk and my heart rate was up and as I look toward the sign...I said to myself...well I can see that sign...it's not that far...the change is not that too far away....I'll push ahead....and wouldn't you know.....as I got up to the sign I realized that it was just a warning to me....that the sign was placed a little early in the road....I was going to have a go just a little further before the the big change....so I had to push on. Some may think it's corney but I saw something in that arrow pointing to the right. My life right now is full of them and I have to keep my eye on them...because I am working so hard on making lots of big changes. My history has proven that I get really scared when I get close to the prize and I back up and start backing up. I am doing all I can to keep up the momentum and motivation. I am saving my life. I am one selfish lady! That's me!
That's all for tonight!
1 comment:
As to your last thought, I remember a time in the MTC another sister missionary was sharing some insights she had as she was running around the track there. She had made a goal, but realized about half way through her run that she would not reach her goal. In the past, she always gave up, thinking "what's the point?" if she wasn't going to reach the goal. But, Heavenly Father taught her in that moment that, even if it was impossible for her to reach her goal in that moment, she needed to keep her goal and give it her all. I really related to that. I often get scared of the prize or give up when I don't think I can reach the goals I set. But that's not the way God works. I think you (and I) are learning some powerful lessons -- and it's GREAT!
(sorry this is so long) -- Best of luck!!! (and Merry Christmas!)
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