Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Mirror Mirror On The Wall....

Why do you have to be so honest? Why do I hate what I see staring back at me?
Ugg...I just don't have the profound rah!rah!rah! words right now. They are just gone from me. All those "I can do anything feelings" have escaped! Poof! Gone.
I find myself having a resentment for people who have weight loss surgery right now. How stupid is that? I am just being honest with myself though. I have never believed they have it easy. I have always believed that I would rather do what I have done than take the risks associated with WLS...BUT, and there is always a big BUT....they have a "tool of permanence" I call it. I think though I am no expert that it is much harder to undo WLS and eat around it than it is to gain weight without. Am I making any sense at all? I am just saying that it doesn't take much effort for someone who hasn't had WLS to gain but people who have probably have to work a little harder to gain. Maybe I am just talking out my ASS. Yes, I said ASS....sorry it's not a pretty word but I have warned before that I can be salty sometimes and I guess I am feeling extra seasoned right now. The collective few who even may read this will be happy to know that will be the extent of my naughty vocab. in this blog post.
So I am blogging today because I just need to and desperately trying to sort through how I feel. It is if I am waiting for something to "click" in me...the "switch" to go back on. For now...I guess the lights are on but nobodies home. Ha!Ha!


Andrea said...

Sorry you're struggling. It seems to be a neverending battle with most people I know!

Just a Girl in a Port said...

Sometimes you just have air your frustrations. I think a great number of people are in awe, like proud-to-associated-with-you awe, for all that you have accomplished by pure diet, fitness and hardwork. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and your path, while perhaps harder at times than the way others chose things, will always be its own reward. No matter what path to health and fitness, there is always a struggle, a challenge, doubts, feelings of failure and success. Just know that you are not alone. Many walk in your shoes and many of us only wish we had your strength and determination. Hang in there!