Sometimes digging through all drawers I come across something that "shocks" me. This picture would be one of them. It's a reminder to me of where I have been and where I don't want to be. I remember the night very well too. I remember the struggle to find something to wear that didn't make look fat and the hope that I wouldn't look "too awful". Looking in the mirror I had the sinking feeling that no matter what I put on I just wasn't good enough and I hated that feeling. I can't believe that I even posed for pictures and REALLY can't believe we paid for them. I am glad I have them now because they tell me that I HAVE COME A LONG WAY! It also helps me to acknowledge the changes I have made in how I see myself. Sometimes when I look in the mirror...I see the girl in this picture and by that I mean...I see my imperfections. After all this...Wow! I don't have a perfect body! Who'd have thunk! It'll never be but that's okay. I am struggling lately with trying to find a balance with home/work (new job) and being okay with my new body and continuing on my journey. It is really hard and a challenge moment by moment. As I have said before...there is no "finish line"...I will never be there. I am a work in progress and from here until there is no breath left in me...the point must be that I am making "progress" and moving ahead in my journey. I pick myself up...dust off when I fall...and move along. I believe in others...I must continue to believe in me.
Selfish Lady Sends.....
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