Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Angels, ribbons and crayons...


I can't believe it's Christmas time already. Justin had me dragging out all the decorations before Thanksgiving. He loves Christmas. I can't blame him. As a child it was one of my absolute favorite holidays as well. I loved the lights, the decorations and one of my absolute favorites was making sugar cookies and having my cousins over to decorate them. We made a huge mess on the kitchen table with colored frosting and sprinkles every where. It was a blast.

I took out the ornaments and put all the very special glass ornaments at the top of the tree before Justin had a chance to get a hold of them. Some of these ornaments go back to 1956 and my parents first christmas together. I feel lucky to have them. I don't want anything to happen to them. Other ornaments are just as special as they go back to when Kelley, Katie, Logan and yes, even Justin were little. Justin was fascinated with the odd pieces of construction paper with no more than a piece of ribbon an odd face drawn on it, or a few beads on a pipe cleaner with a name scribbled. I explained to him that these were very old and done by his brother or sisters and were so important to me and I had kept them. I keep everything. He quickly ran in the other room, drew an angel on a piece of paper, cut a circle around it, wrote his name on it and then found a ribbon to attach it to the tree. He wanted to make sure he made his contribution this year.

When I found myself alone I sat at the foot of the tree and began the process of putting up the rest of the ornaments and taking note of each and every one. I honestly sobbed for hours I think because the little boy Logan who scribbled the angel on the faded construction paper, is now a young man. The Katie who's face fills popsicle stick ornaments, or home-made felt wreaths is beautiful young woman. The little girl who's paper plate angel still finds a place at the highest part of my tree is an adult and has in many ways moved on in her heart. She is no longer that little girl that has all the angels peppering my tree.

These thoughts I had sitting there as a sea of paper, pipe cleaner and glitter ornaments surrounded me made me sad but also made me grateful for all my children. I am grateful for each of their smiles as they pulled out their treasures and raised them high in the air with pride for me to see before hanging them on the tree so many years ago. I am grateful for thumbprint tree ornaments, and tiny felt stockings with letters missing from their names that are still hung from teachers. They still mean something to them because I cared enough to keep them and I care enough to still hang them.

I am grateful for all the moments we have shared under our Christmas tree. Sometimes we have lost track of each other for the shredded paper everywhere, and sometimes we have been drowned out by the sounds of bubble wrap being stomped on in the corner of the room. We have the most amazing times, the silliest times and the simplest of times because we are together. THAT is what for us makes Christmas the greatest. I will take all those little special things my children have given me throughout the years and all the memories I have and I will consider it a perfect holiday.

I am sure I will post again...but for the moment, this is what was on my mind.