Day #5

 

 

Well today was Saturday and my 5th day on Whole30. I didn't feel like an elaborate Meal #1 so I reheated the last of my two pork sausages and had a mixed fruit salad with coconut meat and cashews on top. That was really good and filling. I am finding that I am not really feeling hungry and so my urge to snack hasn't been too strong. I still think about food, the M&M's on top of the refrigerator that stare longingly at me, the cupboard full of chips that I am sure would be delicious OR how bout that popcorn my son popped last night...smelled heavenly. I don't touch...and I am keenly aware of my senses. For meal #2 a made a salad with a lot of different vegetables. I whipped up the avocado dressing that is in the ISWF book and had that mixed in. We had left over London broil from last night so I put that on the top for my protein. For my final meal of the day I made an awesome beef and vegetable chili and had kiwi and plum on the side. I was stoked at how good the chili tasted. Sweet potatoes, zucchini, onion, red pepper and jalapeno were the stars of the show. It was spicy and flavorful. I am so glad I have leftovers to enjoy on another day. It was really cool out today and I put on my shoes and went for a good 5 mile walk. That felt so good. I am looking forward to getting out tomorrow and doing that again. I miss my regular walks. It will be so nice to figure out a schedule where I can walk routinely again. So far my impression of this program is good. I have energy and emotionally I feel better...perhaps that is because I have something I am committed to and am working hard to follow the guidelines. I drink more water than I used to. So...5 down...and 25 more to go. I am on a roll.



 

 

Day #4

Today started with a headache but midmorning it is gone with the aid of Ibuprophen. Meal #1 was a 3 egg scramble tossed with the last of my roasted root vegetables, red pepper and some bacon. I ate half a pear also. I tried a different kind of coffee with the coconut cream but it still tastes bitter and not really enjoyable. I think I will most likely swear off coffee for the rest of this program. It is just not the same without my Equal and ff half&half. I did leave food on my plate as I felt full. I am trying the flavored sparkling water that has no sweetners and it is tolerable but not a huge fan. Water is much better. :)  The new nonstick skillet I bought has been such a big help. It really makes a huge difference in the amount of fat I have to add for cooking. I am using the healthy fats suggestions from Whole30 but I just don't like to cook with that much. I bought a plantain yesterday and am excited to attempt tostones. Well Meal #2 was okay but I expected more flavor. I made a chicken salad with olive oil mayo, celery, cashews and pineapple. I used leaf lettuce for wraps and had sliced tomatoes and tostones on the side. The tostones were awesome but I threw the last 3 away because I decided as super yummy as they are they satisfied a salty chip craving. I was at one point so stressed with a screaming toddler that I headed straight for the rest of what I had not plated so I could comfort eat. I stopped myself because I realized what I was doing. While having the others would have been okay meal plan wise I just threw them out to disconnect from the emotionally stressed munch. I feel really good about that choice. Well my 4th day is done. My #3 meal was London broil, sautéed swiss chard, butternut squash patties and cucumber/tomato salad. I feel good. I haven't had any real issues with energy so I hope that continues. 

Day #3

 

 

Well, today was the 3rd day and fortunately I woke up without a headache. I got a little creative and tried to make some different meals. Meal #1 I made some really good zucchini and sweet potato patties. I put in a whole egg and some flax meal for a binder. I topped it with a sunny side egg, some slice pork sausage and had nectarines and blueberries on the side. For meal #2 I made a soup with chicken and vegetables. I used a boxed bone broth that was chicken and ginger. It was tasty but spicy and way more than I could eat. Meal #3 was homemade tomato sauce and beef meatballs on a bed of sautéed zucchini. I made a nice salad with vinaigrette on the side. For my fruit I mixed blueberries/raspberries and coconut meat and that was very yummy. My mind was definitely on food today and while I am eating plenty I felt hungry. I still am trying to shake the coffee but I discovered unsweetened coconut cream and added that to it and that made a huge difference. While at the store tonight I kept noticing all these things I would love to eat but then I realized I am doing this to break that cycle so I felt very self aware as I was shopping. I think one of the things that is hard about this program is the work to prepare a meal and actually sit down and focus on eating. It is so different from inhaling food without the brain getting the "I'm full" signal. I also thought about the fact that I don't have to clean my plate. Tuning in to that signal is also something I am trying to work on. All in all it was a good day. So 27 more to go...and my journey continues.

 

 

 

Day #2....

This will be a post I add to throughout the day but wanted to note that I woke up with a beast of a headache this morning. I thought it was weird as I am not usually a headache person so I wonder what it could be???? It may be the smaller amount of caffeine I consumed yesterday. After 3 Ibuprophen I am better. I am really, really glad I did some food prep. before I started this. Cooking a pan of bacon, roasting veg's, cooking my homemade sausage patties, etc. has been so helpful. I am trying to make extra veg's when I cook dinner in the evenings for the family the Whole30 way so I can use the leftovers in future meals. The other night I cooked extra grilled pork chops which worked out fantastic warmed up for my dinner. I made the olive oil mayo and pantry dressing both recipes I got from the Whole30 book and they are divine in taste and helpful for adding flavor. The salad I made yesterday with Salmon was from Salmon I grilled the same time I did the pork chops. Today I am going to cook a pork roast and will shred it and put in small portions. Part of it will be for the family-add bbq sauce for quick pulled pork sandwiches. I will have mine differently, and according to the program. I don't mind cooking for the family a little differently than I do myself but they are enjoying some of it. I joked with my husband yesterday that I wondered when he would sneak off to McDonald's. :) Breakfast this morning was some bacon, roasted root veg's and arugula sautéed in a little ghee. Then I made a 3 egg white wrap to put under my veg. mixture. It was really good. I had strawberries on the side. One thing someone mentioned on a twitter feed or blog I read and that is a "drawback" to all this cooking....THE DISHES. I have to agree and that is why taking that day or so to prep as much as possible saves some time. With the toddler hot on my heels it is hard to spend loads of time in the kitchen and hard to sit and slowly eat. She demands a lot of attention. Yesterday I felt stressed out and ending up bawling after I tried for a couple of hours to get her to nap. I want to do what I need to get back on track and be a healthier me. Sometimes I feel a little resentful that my life seems to revolve around babysitting and I don't have the free time I once had. I remind myself over and over that it is up to ME to overcome what is holding me back and I can figure out a way to work within the limitations I have at this time. People have full time jobs, people have more than one little person to deal with at home...and they all manage. I need to do the same and not use it as an excuse but there are just those moments well I feel trapped. That has really got to stop because it is melting my good feelings and making me not very nice. One of my old friends is very sick and I have other people in my life who are struggling with issues that they can't control and I try very hard to remember them when the pity kicks in. I am truly blessed, lucky and as another friend told me recently...I need to worry about what I have control over...the rest leave to God.

So I am adding in that I am so happy I went for a walk this morning. I put the little girl in the stroller and walked for 4 miles. The bonus was she fell asleep on the way back and slept longer once we got home. I was able to fix and eat lunch quietly without interruption and get a few things done. My time was well spent and I was free of frustration. For lunch I made a mixed baby greens salad with cucumbers,olives,sweet peppers,broccoli dressed with pantry vinegrett. I cooked some shrimp in a small amount of ghee and topped my salad with those. I had some frozen blueberries on the side. I am drinking plenty of water today as well.

The day is done and I survived and no afternoon coffee I might add. For meal#3 I made a,yellow curry and added shredded pork, butternut squash, cauliflower and basil. I ate the leftover green beans and brussel sprouts. It was all very tasty. On to day #3 and 28 to go.

The first day....I survived.

So today was the big day....Day 1 of 30 days that I hope will reset my physical, emotional and nutritional clock. I got on the scale to see my starting point and then put it away for 30 days. Meal #1 (breakfast) was really good and filling. I chopped up some baby sweet peppers, kale and threw in some roasted potatoes. This was cooked in a little bit of ghee. I added some of the pork sausage I made and had precooked. This hash was topped with two sunny side eggs also cooked in a little ghee. I had fresh strawberries on the side. Meal #2 (lunch) was a grilled salmon salad with celery,dill pickles and olive oil mayo I made last night. This I ate on a bed of arugula and tomato  with slices of nectarine. Meal #3 (dinner) was a nice grilled pork chop with balsamic glaze, green beans cooked with onion and some roasted potatoes. I had a salad of arugula and tomato with the pantry vinegrett I made. Roasted root vegetables finished off the plate. The great thing today was that I used many of my prepped foods to make putting meals together easier. My one screw up was a cup of decaf coffee in the late afternoon. I will still take day 1 as a victory. It was an extremely stressful day and I was very aware of the fact that I wanted to eat to calm my anxiety but I did not relent. I also worked hard on drinking more water. So that is my Day 1 down...29 more to go. Baby steps.

The Day Before..

I spent yesterday shopping and getting some things done like a total clean out of my fridge and freezer. Today I have a trip to Trader Joe's to pick up the last of what I think I will need to get started. My house smells amazing as I have had a bone broth simmering in the oven all night. I will divide that up and freeze it for soups and dishes. I also got some ground pork and seasoned it for sausage. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. Today I find myself excited but have that little bit of anxiety about this commitment. I am confident it is the right thing for me but concerned about the work only because I usually have a little person running amuck here which makes preparing anything hard. I will figure it all out though. I am eager for the challenge and change  that is the reward.

It has been so very long....

I was kind of stunned when I came here only to see how long it has been since my last post. I guess the reality is that I have been struggling THAT long or longer to get myself in a good space. When I get stuck in the mire, my desire to blog just falls away. Still hanging on by a thread but I have fallen to the wayside with all my good choices, exercise, etc. I feel every single pound I have gained as a result. My 12's are T.I.G.H.T. and food has been used as a great comforter but unfortunately the results are not comforting. So I have been trying to figure out what in the world I can do to shake myself out of the funk I have been in lately. I decided I need a reset and while I usually don't like diets, and don't subscribe to them as a rule...Tuesday, Sept. 15th I am going on one...for 30 days. Whole30 is going to be my life for 30 days. I have to make some commitments to myself to make it work. One of the things I am going to do and it may get mundane for 30 days but I am going to blog with either photos or just a description of my 3 meals a day AND I am going to include a dialog on how I feel. My other commitment is to walk when I can...find a way to get out more. I HATE that I have lost that lately and I have to take it back. I have excuses but honestly....those aren't going to make me feel any better or honestly explain it away. I just have to do what I can...My confidence has plummeted and I feel constantly overwhelmed and it is almost as if I am stuck in quick sand. My hope is that completely turning how I eat on it's ear and making a commitment to 30 days that I will feel better. In a way it is as though I will have a mission (not impossible) for a month and I can concentrate on all the work that will go in to it. Whole30 is a way of eating that removes so many of the common foods I eat and replaces them with pure, healthy protein, vegetables, fruits and healthy fats. It will mean that on days when I am not babysitting that part of my time will be spend preparing food for the week. It will be an exercise in disconnecting myself from using food as a way of feeding the depression monster when I am triggered. I hope more than anything the cloudy, fog brain and lack of motivation I have been experiencing will go away because I physically feel better. Yes, I hope to shed some of the pounds I have gained and put myself back in a safe zone but it is the switch I hope will get me rolling again. So for those that catch up on my blog...fair warning about the next 30 days to come because there will be a lot of posts and they may or may not be all that interesting. Of course I never know what is interesting about this struggle...but I constantly see and hear things I can relate to and know I am not alone.